The Diving Board Story.

I thought for the sake of you, our readers, I would re-post a blog post I wrote nearly 10 years ago (YIKES…I feel old). This afternoon is one that if I had my life on videotape, I would replay over and over again for the sheer hilarity of it all. In my youth, I was not drinking calming tea this day, but rather had likely had too many Iced Capps from Tim Hortons. If only I had been drinking tea, maybe my brain would have been thinking clearly.

From August 11th, 2005…

So…I am in the midst of two ridiculously crazy weeks…

This week is another day camp – 65 kids grades 1-6…yes, you are right, it is fun…Okay, so I am having a blast…that is until today (more later)…

Anyway, so I spend from 7 am – 5 pm at the church and our various locations, and my nights at the townhouse because Jarett’s friends from New Brunswick are down and this is my only week to see them. This week has been awesome, so fun – but I am beat, so incredibly tired…it’s not funny – not even in my incredible giddy state…

A lot is happening – roommate shifting in the townhouses and trying to figure that all out. Finishing up the day camp Friday and then leaving Saturday for a week in inner city Hamilton on a missions trip with my youth pastor and my kiddos…Trying to get ready for school and STUCA and figuring out finances and how I am going to do everything I need to do…I haven’t even had time to think about moving and packing and all that…not really looking forward to even thoughts of it.

So Wednesday – ah yes, the most hilarious afternoon of my life. Most embarrassing, but most hilarious nonetheless. We went bowling (where I kicked butt of course) and then swimming at the Waterloo Rec Centre.

A few disclaimers and sidenotes:
a. We had NO injuries in our EXTREME Sports Day Camp two weeks ago
b. I am VERY VERY tired
c. I am BLIND without my glasses
d. I was very GIDDY and subsequently out of it today

Alright, so we get to the place and go to the locker room…Ah yes, a lovely place to start the embarrassment. Well…basically, I stuffed a bunch of stuff (mine and other peoples) into a locker, paid the quarter and then learned it was out of order (there was a big sign on the front…I Am Very Tired)…then I put it in another one, but locked it wrong and wasted a quarter, so I had to put it in another one…not the best story of the day…it just started me out on the wrong foot.

So, I went to the kiddy pool to go hang out with some of the youngest day campers, and in my state of tiredness, proceeded to fall multiple times from the couple inch high drop-offs that are apparently obvious with huge stripes of colour on the bottom of the pool.
So, I ditch the kiddy pool and go to the water slide, knowing I will find lots of the kids there. Now, I was wearing a tee-shirt over my bathing suit to promote maximum modesty at day camp. Apparently, that wasn’t as good as an idea as I thought. I went down; on my back of course because I am cool, and about 15 feet to the bottom of the slide, I stopped (the resistance from my shirt being too much). There I was. I could see the lifeguards, they could see me. I could see people from my group, they could see me. So, I did what any dignified person would do…I doggy paddled the rest of the way and graceful glided into the water.
After conquering the water slide, I went on to the hot tub. Now again, I am blind. I see a five-inch wall, a gap for the run-off and then another five-inch wall. I play out the logics and decide that you must have to jump into the hot tub…so I did. I made quite the splash – a near cannonball – and when I bob back up I apologize to the people around (it was quite crowded everywhere there that day) and then the lifeguard comes over. Great. She points me to the path where you can, quite nicely, walk gradually into the hot tub. Oops. So, I sit there, and then a few seconds later, another lifeguard comes over and says something – I couldn’t hear her though because it was so loud, so I just figured she wanted us out, so myself and the two kids that were with me, got out. (Turns out people from day camps weren’t allowed in…but I think they just hate me for doing a cannonball in the hot tub! 🙂 )
So, I move on to the high diving board. Now again, I am blind. Plus, I don’t really prefer heights so that is not really fun. However, I love a good adrenaline rush and new challenges, so I figure I will just tackle the high dive and move on (I guess I forgot what kind of day I was having!). I did a successful dive, a cannonball and then went up for round number three; another dive. I figure, I am an expert at diving (in a normal pool), and I am clearly rocking the high dive, woohoo! I am pumped for this one. I wait for my turn patiently, yet anxiously. A few day campers are up there with me, and my nerves compared to theirs was completely embarassing. My fear of heights makes me want to get off quickly, so I figure I shall run (or at least shuffle) and dive. Now again, I am blind and the greenish board blended in far too well with the water providing a very bad situation for me, the very blind girl. So I take off, shuffle shuffle shuffle and …… JUMP…… except when you are diving, you stay closer to the board then when you are jumping…plus…in my anxiousness, I believe I dove about a foot and a half too soon because on my way down, THWACK, THWACK, the very springy board smashed into my legs (at least twice), providing quite the crippling effect. Now, when you are in the diving position, it is quite difficult to get out of that position. So, in the impact on the water and from some reenactments, I believe I flew in the air and hit the water like an upside-down cannonball. (Yes, you may laugh, I haven’t stopped laughing since it happened). Considering the gracefulness that so normally surrounds me, this dive was quite…nice.
So, I proceeded to sit in the kiddy pool, 19 years old, with my legs up, ice packs on, quite embarrassed. I had four immediate bumps on my shins (two per leg) from the THWACK of the board, a little blood trickling down, and oh yes, I was the leader of this day camp. I was in fine form. I then had to go fill out an accident report and confess my age to which I said…”I’m 19…I’m 19!!!” thoroughly ashamed at my complete lack of skill…and how the injury occurred…When the lifeguard asked to record for the report how it happened, all I could say was, “I went off the high dive. I dove. That’s all.”

There you have it. Five humbling experiences in one afternoon.

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2 thoughts on “The Diving Board Story.

  1. Oh man! I’m getting caught up, and this just made my night… Not to enjoy your suffering or anything:). Just so hilarious, I laughed out loud! We’ve all had those days, thankfully we don’t all have blogs to rehash them 🙂 thanks for sharing!!!

    Like

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